At the end of each practice, we all join hands and sing a variation on Holly Near’s
song “Singing for our lives”. The first time I heard it, I almost cried.
Joining the chorus seemed a natural thing to do…my partner (now wife) was in the
chorus and also on the Board of Directors. Caring for our special needs son was
why I had not joined earlier, but now that he was in a special boarding school during
the week, that reason was gone. Still, I had to think about it.
My life is a duality…out for most parts, but in the closet for other parts. You
see, I could get fired, even now with all the rights and advances that have been
made, from my “weekend” job. Knowing that my “weekday” job is secure (I am out,
nobody cares, and I am protected from being fired on the basis of orientation) makes
it easier. At least our livelihood would not be impacted. Still, thinking about
standing up in public and singing as a member of a predominately LGBT chorus was
enough to make me pause for a brief moment before joining. Yet, I am so glad I did
join. Here I have found a community of caring characters (we are not a boring group)
that has given me a place to sing where I am not hiding who I am. It is a freedom
that I have not had before.
I somehow doubt that my Bishop will ever be on this website to read this entry,
but if he is and wants to use it to take action against me, I would be angry, but
not destroyed. My world will continue with the support of Singing OUT! and all the
friends I have made there.
Julia Ford